Myths about true friendship that it’s time to part with

Myths about true friendship that it’s time to part with

Not all proverbs are equally useful.

A true friend is for life

It doesn’t have to be. There are times when you met someone in kindergarten and carried a great relationship through life. But it happens that the person turns out to be with you at some point in life, and then you stop needing each other.

If you communicated with a classmate at university. You exchanged lectures, went to parties and concerts together, discussed events you had in common. You were in the same context. But then you graduated and went to different cities, and the context became different. For a while you were in touch with each other from memory, but there were fewer and fewer points of contact. And eventually your friendship dried up. But was it any less real? You spent a few years together-so great, I would think. A good thing doesn’t stop being good just because it ends.

An old friend is better than two new ones.

Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. There is logic in this statement: since you’ve been in touch for many years, you probably know each other well, have been through a lot. But there are two points.

First, old friendships often continue by inertia precisely because of the belief that the old friends – the real, and new so, passing. But remember how childhood bonds are formed. Chances are, you lived somewhere nearby, or went to school together, or your parents were in touch. You were brought together by circumstances, not by spiritual kinship. Adult connections are formed more consciously. And so, if the horse of an old friendship has died, it is time to get off it.

Secondly, if you’re lucky enough to maintain childhood friendships, that doesn’t mean there’s no room in your life for new contacts. Why rank people by the time of their appearance? There are much more rational criteria, like how comfortable and fun you are together.

A friend comes in handy.

Indeed, from a comrade, you expect support, and in difficult, and joyful moments. If he systematically ignores you, constantly asking for your help, but does not reciprocate, perhaps it is time to think about ending these relationships.

But if someone once didn’t come to your aid or reacted the wrong way to your problems, that doesn’t automatically make him a bad friend. Because he is only human, and people aren’t perfect. He may have underestimated the seriousness of the situation and not come when you needed him. Or he may not be with you in your moment of triumph, because he recognized his own failure and became upset.

If there are rough edges in the relationship, it’s not a reason to end it. But it’s definitely worth discussing the doubts, so that from now on everything will be clearer.

You disappear, but bail your friend out of trouble.

It sounds beautiful, but in practice such sacrifice looks doubtful even in a critical situation, not to mention the background.

Still, readiness to help must be rational. Getting up early in the morning for a friend is possible. However, many are seriously offended when a person is not ready to take serious personal risks for the sake of friendship. Although in any relationship everyone contributes exactly as much as he is ready to give.

There must be only one true friend.

There is no regulation concerning how many friends there should be. Some people only need one close person, some people need a lot of them in order to get the right amount of social support.

True friendship does not rust.

On friendship, as on any relationship, you need to work. Find compromises, endure inconveniences, forgive. And also to discuss disagreements, so they do not grow like a snowball and do not disrupt everything in their path.

In fact, there are no laws and inspections of friendship. All that matters is that it makes you happier.